Key Takeaways:
There are four main categories of communication styles, each with their own subcategories
Understanding both your style and others' styles creates more effective workplace interactions
Effective leaders adjust their communication approach based on their team members' preferences
Communication is a skill that can be developed with practice and self-awareness
Recognition and rewards should align with how people prefer to communicate and receive feedback
The Communication Gap in Today's Workplace
Communication breakdowns are at the heart of most workplace conflicts. When we don't understand our own communication preferences—or recognize those of our colleagues—misalignment is inevitable.
In the second installment of our "Know Thyself" series, our CEO Ashish Kaushal continued his conversation with Dr. Plummer, CEO of Onyx Therapy Group, exploring how communication styles impact workplace relationships and performance.
The Four Communication Style Categories
"We have different communication styles," Dr. Plummer explained. "Everybody has a different way that they communicate, different ways that they see the world, different ways that they receive messages... and when we're talking about diversity in the workplace, we're also talking about things like how people communicate differently."
Dr. Plummer outlined four distinct categories of communication styles:
Assertiveness Spectrum: Passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive
DISC Framework: Dominant, influencer, conscientious, and steady
Information Focus: Who (people-focused), what (outcome-focused), when (deadline-focused), and how (process-focused)
Communication Form: Verbal, written, and non-verbal
Most of us have a primary preference within each category. For example, Dr. Plummer described herself as primarily a "what" communicator who is dominant and verbal, focusing on outcomes while tending to take up space in conversations.
Why Knowing Your Style Matters
Understanding your default communication preferences gives you both awareness and choice. As Dr. Plummer noted, "The more we know about ourselves... the better we are able to communicate, but also to know where we need to adjust so that the other person can receive the information."
This self-awareness becomes particularly important in workplace settings, where communication styles can either enhance or undermine effectiveness:
"The challenge is when people believe that just because I told you who I am, now you got to do everything differently. That's not fair. I get to tell you who I am, you get to tell me who you are, and we get to negotiate what makes sense."
The Key Distinction Between Assertive and Aggressive
One particularly valuable insight from the conversation was the distinction between assertive and aggressive communication:
Aggressive communication typically involves some level of threat or consequence: "And if you don't do it this way, this is what I'm going to do," or "It better happen according to my standards."
Assertive communication, by contrast, is "generally very factual and even-toned without an association of consequence."
As Dr. Plummer explained, "An aggressive speaker usually wants people to comply out of fear, and an assertive person usually wants compliance out of respect."
Many people default to aggressive communication because they see the only alternative as being passive. Learning the assertive approach offers a powerful middle path.
How to Identify Your Own Communication Style
Ready to discover your own communication preferences? Dr. Plummer suggests:
Research the frameworks: Search for information on each of the four communication style categories
Take self-assessments: Find online tools that help you identify where you fall in each category
Get feedback: Ask trusted colleagues or friends how they experience your communication
Try communication activities: Practice scenarios with others to see patterns in how you process information
The goal isn't to label yourself definitively, but to increase awareness of your natural tendencies so you can make intentional choices about when to adapt.
Communication as a Leadership Skill
For leaders, understanding communication styles becomes even more critical. Dr. Plummer shared how she applies this knowledge with her team:
"I know who on my leadership communicates verbally and who communicates in a written way. For people who communicate in a written way, I email them or text them. For people who are verbal, I ask them to give me a call."
This extends to how leaders recognize and reward team members:
"I find the best ways to recognize employees is through the ways they like to be recognized. Some of my team members want awards... some want verbal acknowledgment... some want an opportunity... Some of my team just wants to get together."
Adapting to Different Styles
Sometimes adapting means making significant adjustments to your natural preferences. Dr. Plummer shared a personal example of being in a relationship with someone who preferred written communication:
"I would say things to him and then later, within a few hours, he would write me an email. And that is how he responded. It meant I had to be patient because I couldn't expect a response right away. But I got better communication and understanding when he used his preferred communication style."
This willingness to adapt—without completely changing who you are—creates space for more effective communication.
The Challenge of Narcissistic Communication
The conversation also touched on how to communicate with narcissistic individuals in the workplace—those who are "overly consumed with themselves" and "do not have the capacity to consider other people's perspectives."
Dr. Plummer offered this practical advice: "You have to show them how certain things benefit them, how adjusting their communication benefits them... Because right now, in their untreated form, everything is about them."
While this approach may feel laborious, it provides a practical way to navigate these challenging dynamics.
Communication is a Skill, Not Just a Natural Trait
One of the most encouraging insights from the conversation was that effective communication is a skill that can be developed—not just an innate quality. As Dr. Plummer noted:
"Some folks believe that communication is just natural, like, 'This is just who I naturally am.' And that may work, but not in most situations. You have to utilize a skill, and you have to practice that skill and modify that skill."
Like a natural singer who still needs vocal training, even those with natural communication abilities benefit from intentional development.
Watch the Full Conversation
Expand your understanding of communication styles by watching the full LinkedIn Live conversation.
Poll: Which Communication Style Category Would You Most Like to Improve?
Understanding the assertiveness spectrum (passive to aggressive)
Mastering the DISC framework (dominant, influencer, conscientious, steady)
Adapting to different information focuses (who, what, when, how)
Balancing different communication forms (verbal, written, non-verbal)
Vote to see how your development priorities compare with our community!
Want to go deeper?
For Teams: Consciously Unbiased offers workplace culture training that helps organizations build more effective communication across diverse styles.
For Leaders: Our Leadership Insider subscribers receive monthly deep dives on leadership communication and workplace culture, plus exclusive leadership roundtables with workplace experts.
This post is part of our "Know Thyself" special series on emotional intelligence. Subscribe to be notified when we publish our next installment.
What's your primary communication style? Share in the comments below!
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